I HAVE A SECRET

I have a secret —

no, I am not a spy.

Instead, I have gills,

and I can’t cry.

When you scream and shout,

I switch on my gills —

like a rainbow-coloured trout.

Off I go, splashing into the blue —

cold or warm,

all will do.

The water beckons

when you try to pull me —

like a tug of war,

but the water wins.

I jump into it.

I can’t breathe —

but for an eternity,

I feel free.

Out come my gills

and save me from life.

Now I am in vacuum,

but the stillness is rife —

rife with no minds,

wandering aimlessly but

in a line.

A fellow “no-mind” looks at me

with dead and stony eyes.

I look at him and follow him

to a cave of wonders nearby.

The cave of wonders — I enter.

I see some things left over:

a sorry note.

I know who wrote.

Before I can open,

the note talks back.

I remember watching something

like this

in a movie track.

But this one’s feisty

and doesn’t destroy —

she opens her mouth,

begins her tirade:

“You coward, Curio —

you keep jumping into the blue!

Go back and fight,

and make them treat you right.

I’m thinking — wasn’t this a sorry note?”

The note says, “Well, read the footnote.

It says sorry note —

but the footnote says not.”

I shake my head,

pleading — “No, no, let me stay.

It’s so peaceful and blue out here —

outside of here is,

more than I can bear.”

The note is angry,

sputtering curses at me.

I run from her,

but she won’t let me be.

“Damn it — you mouthy note!

This place is so humongous!

I want to live here forever —

what’s the fuss?”

She looks at me and blurts:

“You have no papers

or permits for your stay.

You are a nuisance —

we don’t want your kind

in our way.”

I shout,

“What papers?! I have gills, can’t you see?

I am just like you!”

“No, you are not,” she says.

“You are outside of the blue.

You faked some gills —

this is illegal.

Leave, or be sued.”

So I leave the blue,

thinking —

no peace, nowhere,

no matter what I do.

But my gills prompt me,

tell me —

go fishing tomorrow, Curio.

Use a fake paper

to bait the note from the blue.

-Curio Athena

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